U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
