the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
