were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
