Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
