Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
