I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
