Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
