dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
