you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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