Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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