I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
