He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
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