At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
