Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
