Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
