if you like me you must not know who I am
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
