How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
