she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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