Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize