my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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