My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
