Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize