God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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