My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
