We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
