ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
