he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
