I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My dick has a subreddit
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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