Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
