this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
