As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
