Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
