I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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