My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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