her vagine was all disorganized.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There are leaves in my underwear?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
