beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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