why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
