I want to stick my p in your. b.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
