Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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