Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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