I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
