So drunk its hurt
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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