her vagine was all disorganized.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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