You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
