I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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