People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
