I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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