I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My vagina just recognized that song.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
