so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
