i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
