Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
