i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize