yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
