The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
