Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
