super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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