I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
